Jason Kenney bans unvaccinated from Thanksgiving


In a flabbergasting move towards an apartheid state, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has banned people from seeing their family on Thanksgiving if they are unvaccinated.

“Indoor gatherings last Thanksgiving sparked the second wave of COVID, with cases and hospitalizations surging after millions of Albertans celebrated in close contact with loved ones,” said Kenney in a statement.

“We simply cannot afford a repeat scenario — not with this dangerous Delta variant — and that is still circulating — and with our hospitals under such severe pressure.”

“To be blunt: no indoor social gatherings are permitted outside of a household for people who are unvaccinated,” Kenney continued, fully endorsing segregation.

“For those who are vaccinated, indoor social gatherings are limited to two households for up to ten people who are aged twelve or older. We are also lowering the maximum number of people permitted to participate in outdoor social gatherings from two hundred to twenty.”

Kenney’s statements come after polls revealed that his approval rating had hit all-time lows, with 77 per cent of Albertans now disapproving of his leadership. This move will likely only hasten this tremendous fall from grace.

Moreover, it appears that Kenney has taken a few classes in predictive programming, as he is already prepping the blame of the unvaccinated for the inevitable fifth wave that is ushered in by flu season.

“I said before that we’re making progress in our fourth wave fight. But we risk losing all of that progress, and once again, putting even more pressure on our overstressed hospitals if Albertans do not respect these critical public health rules over the days to come,” said Kenney.

He concluded his statement by asking Albertans to “show gratitude at Thanksgiving for our amazing front-line health care workers by limiting social contacts, social interaction, and by following these public health rules.”

This statement is, of course, highly ironic as Kenney’s government is currently threatening to fire all health care workers who refuse to get vaccinated.

Apparently, gratitude, like Thanksgiving, is conditional upon one’s vaccination status.

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