Trudeau Cabinet boots vaccinated MPs from House of Commons


In a shocking display of dictatorial gusto, Justin Trudeau’s Cabinet chose to boot all MPs from the House of Commons over the Omicron variant yesterday — despite the MPs being fully vaccinated, wearing masks, and social distancing.

“This is not the time for mass gatherings,” Government House Leader Mark Holland told elected officials before explaining that the Liberal Party will suspend all in-person caucus meetings.

Moreover, only a handpicked group of 25 to 30 MPs can now attend the House in person, effectively ensuring that the Liberals keep an iron grip on the affairs of Parliament.

“The actions we are taking are about one thing, public health, to encourage hopefully the facilitation of physical distancing everywhere and to demonstrate these measures are being taken in the best interest of public health,” continued Holland.

So far, Omicron has yet to be attributed to a single death in Canada, and both the Doctor who first discovered the variant and the World Health Organization have stated the variant is mild at best, with the former recommending it be treated at home (not in a hospital), much like you would a common cold.

Moreover, last Friday, the Public Health Agency, in a technical report Update On Covid-19 In Canada: Epidemiology And Modeling, found no confirmed Omicron cases in Atlantic Canada, Nunavut, or the Northwest Territories. According to staff, Canadians infected in other provinces and Yukon had “mild” symptoms or were asymptomatic.

Regardless, Health Minister Jean-Yves Duclos said Canadians should avoid foreign travel as a precaution. “We are very concerned about those who would be travelling abroad,” said Duclos.

“What we’re seeing is an incredibly rapidly spreading variant, and we are worried about Canadians who might end up either stranded or sick abroad,” he continued. “That would be obviously a terrible thing to happen.”

Finance Minister Chrystia Freeland Tuesday delivered a scheduled Fiscal Update to the Commons by videoconference after two staffers tested positive for COVID-19. Neither was hospitalized, and Freeland said she was not in physical contact with either employee.

“My office has been in touch with Ottawa Public Health,” she told reporters. “Their guidance was that since I had not had direct contact with these two staff members, it would probably be enough for me to just self-monitor for symptoms.”

“I have today taken two molecular tests, and the results of both have been negative,” said the finance minister. “But I am very concerned about the rise of Omicron. This is by all accounts, all the evidence we have, much more virulent, much more transmissible than the previous variants of COVID-19.”

Freeland opted not to attend the Commons or press briefings in person “to protect you, the press corps, to protect Members of Parliament, to protect my cabinet colleagues,” she said. “I wouldn’t go to any large gatherings.”

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